b/w to color

Sheet of snow like white
a constant reminder of purity
awaiting for some color
hoping that would make it bright.

Amidst fits of pain and fights
red drops trickle down
coloring the snow.
Bright but alas, with the smell of death.

Whoever said "Show me your friend and I will show you your character" has been quite correct. I had never given a second thought to such sayings especially ones on friendship. But now I realize that I had underestimated the truth conveyed by the above saying.

While brooding over my thoughts on friendship, this was what I came up with. In whomever I call a friend, I recognize a part of myself. A friend is more like an extension of oneself. There are similarities one recognizes in them and these similarities need not necessarily be the good qualities. Even those qualities one detests in other people, one finds those residing within oneself. Amongst some of my so-called friends, there are some whose beliefs on certain issues I totally diasgree with. But in my urgency to avoid verbal conflicts, I remain non-commital when such issues are brought into open and discussed. Recently, I had a major disagreement with a friend. The source of the discord seemed so trivial to me that my "say-no-to-fights" attitude took over and I asked my friend as to why we should even promote such an argument. Unfortunately, the other person involved in this whole affair didn't seem to share the same mental attitude and it became more of a prestige issue to her. The end, as anyone can predict, was not that great and she had just lost out on a potential good friendship.

While on a phone conversation with another old friend, I was told that I had changed a lot over time. To this person, my attitudes and beliefs had changed and he doesn't find me as the same old sort now. On rethinking, it is actually true.
"Life in its own journey presupposes its own change and movement. And one tries to arrest them at one's own eternal peril. Times change and we too change with them."
That aptly summarizes my thoughts on the statement made by my friend.

With all the change around and within, maybe it is not a bad idea to revamp the friends list too. As for the anxiety of losing out the best friends during such shuffles, some wise soul said "Best friends are those that manage the transition between address books".

My address book is undergoing construction and I can see a good many deletions, new additions and some crazy retentions ;-)

Back to action

Back after a long break. Lots of action happening in my life. Action in the real physical sense of the word. Had been moving around and trying to fix up lots of things before i took my month long break ;-)

Atlast things have been completed. Relaxing now !!!

I met my husband after our first longest separation since marriage. Feels nice to be back with loved ones. A warm feeling of security envelopes you. I am contended.
Also, its my first stint at remaining as a day long "domestic" person. Ever since I have taken up a job, I have never been at home longer than 3 days. So this is a welcome break for me. I am going to discover what it means to stay at home and take care of the house without any hustle bustle.

I am all set with loads of books, recipe books, stitching kits and CDs to transport me to a different world all together for a short span of time. Ready, one, two, three, go.........

Hope

After a rather depressing post on my blogspace previously, I am back with more Hope. I don't remember if I had mentioned about the dose of "daily meditation" that I receive from a mail subscription. Many people have found the idea of receiving such mail subscriptions funny, even outright silly, but to me it has always been an enriching digest. Its like those irregulary rounded Nutties (those cruncy chocolates), buttery and soft but also crunchy and tasty. Agreed that sometimes even I feel like skipping through some of the oft repeated theories and facts, but still in the end it wins hands down in providing motivation.

One of the recent meditations had carried a small article by the author on "ways to beat depression". I am sure all of us have read these self-help techniques at some point of time. Difficult part is to put into action atleast one of the suggestions mentioned in the self-help pages. The article I read listed some very simple ways that the author resorts to when she is depressed. That set me thinking. All of us have our own ways to survive crisis situations. It would be better if we think about the various methods we have used to handle such situations in the past and record them for future use. After all, one's own remedy never creates further complications. It is like the human body's immune system. Only the foreign stuff starts off an allergic reaction. Body's own cells, organs and bio-molecules are protected from an attack. (A normal body's behaviour, not one which has symptoms of an auto-immmune reaction)

Personally, I choose to fight depression by brooding over it for sometime and then majorly cribbing to some close friend or family about how hopeless I feel. Most of the times, some reassuring words from friends and family helps me tide over the situation. There have been times when I have found solace in some quotes or statements made by other people. Sometimes it has been a combination of methods that has done the trick. Whatever be the means, it is the end that matters. Medicine has had effect... I can clearly feel the more positive tone in this blog.

Quotes and the statements i mentioned earlier are the jottings I make in various scrap books, my daily use notebook, office notepads, diaries, rather any material on which the pen can be put. Funny how some previous writing brings in a new dimension to the current problem.

"Sometimes our fate resembles a fruit tree in winter. Who would think that those branches would turn green again and blossom, but we hope it, we know it"
- Goethe

How very appropriate to my current situation. Here I am, hoping for a brighter day and waiting with the knowledge that it will arrive... tomorrow is not that far, just another 8 hours of wait.

Cycle

There are days when I feel like humbly submitting instead of constantly putting on a brave face and fighting the many vicissitudes of life. A simple bow when the going gets tough seems so much simpler. Everytime I try to act smart and start to work on the solutions, problems always manage to outwit me, making a mockery of my "smartness".

A popular saying goes like this:
"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going".
Yes, the tough gets going but a faster rate, ahead of you. Only when the presumed "manageable" problems go out of hand that they start to exert their pressure and gain significance. I read somewhere that Life is a cycle of good and bad. But somehow at this stage in my life, good seems to have opted out of the cyclical process. So, it is just bad, more bad and worse that have joined the race.

With the whirling cycle exerting its effect, my life isn't just revolving, it is spinning at ultra speeds. With such a dizzying feeling, I can just numbly accept whatever is being dished out to me. No protests, No fights.Just puppeting my role in the whole scheme of life.

Punyabhoomi

"Man arrested on charge of raping teenaged daughter"
ran the headlines in the front page of today's national daily. Along with the above crime details, several such crimes were reported which had occurred in my residential city in the recent months. What was striking was the fact that the article did not delve into the punishment that was awarded to any of the criminals.

Such crimes are indications of the kind of perverts that roam around in the society freely. I am paraphrasing a funny signature here - "Just because it is illegal to kill, some people are still alive". On a serious note, why should people who commit rape crimes, especially the incest types, be locked away behind bars for a few years ? Why can't we give them more severe punishments ?

Raping one's own daughter and making her pregnant - its such a revolting thought. I felt pukish after reading the article. Just imagine the plight of the girl who is brutalized and made to carry one of her creator's progeny inside her. Being raped by one's own father or brother or any relative, not only affects the girl physically but also mentally. The very people she relied on for support and security actually take advantage of her physical weakness. Isn't it a breach of trust ? The after effects are always painful. More than the physical abuse, the mental agony lingers.

Should we really call India a "punyabhoomi" when there is too much of "paap" strewn over?

Latest avatar of MahishasurMardhini

Sankha sent me this link (don't mute the volume in your system ) -
MahishasurMardhini

Very innovative.

If demons were like the ones in the animation then I will surely start liking them. I will be a follower of "Love thy enemy" policy :-)

Perfect marriages

"There is no perfect marriage and there never will be one - neither is it necessary to be so. All the fun will be lost if marriage is always sedate and predictable."

Very true.

Supporting the above view point is Khalil Gibran, a poet and philosopher. In his book , "The Prophet" , there is a beautiful chapter on marriage. This is an extract from that chapter :

" .... Let there be spaces in your togetherness
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you
Love one another, but make not a bond of love
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous but let each of you be alone
Even as the strings of a lute are alone they quiver with the same music
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts
And stand together yet not too near together
For the pillars of the temple stand apart
And the oak tree and cypress grow not in each other's shadow "

I get spellbound every time I read this bit of work. Every line subtly states the truth. Though i have always enjoyed the passage, i have always found it difficult to follow. But I am still working on it. "Never give up" is my middle name !!! :-)

Here is another perspective on marriage that I found in one of the Reader's Digest issues....

"Never criticize your spouse's faults; if it weren't for them, your mate might have found someone better than you"

;-)

Now, which is easier Khalil Gibran or idolizing and appreciating your (spouse + faults)package !!!!

Mentors

"We will probably never know or understand the impact we have on other people's lives. We all have the opportunity to effect people's lives for the better... or for the worse."

I had found these words in some magazine. My office lays stress on mentoring. Mentors are identified for all employees who will guide them through their careers at the company. I have been asked to choose a mentor who will help me to empower myself.

The opening statements claim that all of us have the ability to act as examples for others. Even our small acts, those that we routinely perform, have the potential to affect another person. I vividly remember my friend telling me as to how she found one of my daily routine acts interesting and followed it. I think the act has become a part of her routine now.

I found one such mentor in a friend of mine. A normal visit to her house, time spent with her kids and a good stimulating talk with her elevated her to the level of a mentor. And the talk wasn't even any bit philosophical. It was just about her daily way of life and how she chooses to handle problems. If someone asked me the cliched beauty contest question on "who would I consider a great person", i think my answer will be all those normal people who by their small acts have made a difference to me and shown me the existence of different perspectives. It has been these people who have made more deeper impact on me than any of the great thinkers. And the reason for this is because they tell me how to deal with the practical nuances of life.

Maybe I will tell my office HR that i am undergoing continuous mentoring in my life.

Anamika

I couldn't find a suitable title for this blog. Hence the anonymous - Anamika.

The name reminds me of a Sanjeev Kumar movie with the song "Anamika". Lovely song.

No, let me call this -- random mutterings.

I happened to read a blog topic on "Life after marriage", penned nicely. I got the link of this blog from another blog I frequently visit. Given below are the links to the blogs.

Source blog
Blog being talked about

Note: It will be better to give a cursory glance of the blogs given above to grasp the context of my current blog.

Well when i was reading about the Life after... blog, I found one of the comments very interesting. One of the readers, apart from agreeing with the author on the topic, threw in a new line of thought. She spoke about how most women (rather girls :-) ) change from being the ambitious type to the concern laden types who put their careers on the back burners to fulfill family needs. That seemed to strike a similar chord with my opinion too.

I have personally felt that change. There have been many instances when I have actually felt like throwing up a good job to be near my family. Recent weeks have set me thinking about the need for further education, the time involved in the whole process, the long separation it will create from my family and the overall futility of the whole process. After mulling over all this, I even came to a decision that I shall stop further work on the application process. If someone had even suggested the above points to me earlier (read pre-marriage), I would have given them a dirty stare and pointed out hundreds of flaws in their reasoning (which i did with my parents !!!).

My attituted surely seems to have changed after marriage. Is being less career driven and more drawn towards family a bad sign ? I am leaving it to the best judge to decide ------- Time.

Anagrams

I was going through this
Anagram Server .

Sankha had given this anagram earlier to me:
" Go King Odolo West Ye ! "

Any guesses as to how else the above phrase can be rearranged !!

Hyderabad blues

Don't worry, this is not going to be a review of the movie that hit the theatres in the late 90s. Rather this blog is more about the blues hyderabadis (and current residents of the city) are facing because of the traffic chaos.

Driving in hyderabad is dangerous especially on the "route" leading towards Hitech City (note the singular form of the word route). Just imagine a whole community of IT guys have to reach their destination by 9.00 a.m sorts. And what has the friendly traffic department done. No, I am not questioning and asking what they have done. On a fine sunny morning, MONDAY, they have made the entire stretch of the Hitech route ONE-WAY. Chaos, that is the only word I can use to sum up what happened on that balmy day. I developed a severe headache finding out a decent navigation route and ended up in office late (that doesn't matter) wondering what all that was about.

The evening scenario was no different. All buses, trucks, Scorpios, small cars, motorbikes, even the cyclists competing with each other to get on to the bylanes. End result, all commuters, residents staying in the peaceful bylanes of Hitech suffered and the traffic policemen suffered.

I heard from one of the traffic policemen that this was going to be a permanent traffic arrangement. By making the roads one way, how has the traffic been regulated. It has just got diverted to the parallel roads. Oh, i forgot to mention that the one way rules are imposed according to timings. 9.00 a.m to 12.00 p.m, road is one way allowing vehicles "from" Hitech towards other locations in the city and evenings, from 4.00 p.m to 9.00 p.m, vehicles from all other locations in the city can go to Hitech.

Do these rules make some sense to you ? It doesn't sound logical to me ...

--------- Thoughts penned by a vexed victim

Raindrops

When I am on a philosophical note, I ponder about life and what it means to me.

Once when i was casually browsing through Reader's Digest, I glanced upon a beautiful advertisement. It was from Life Insurance Corporation of India (LIC) and had a picture of a tree branch after a heavy rain, overladen with raindrops. One drop was just on the verge of seggregating from the branch. And a caption below read -
"That's Life"

An excellent advertisement as it conveyed lot of meaning in the allotted small space in a magazine. Some of the ad.s on the TV are also great. Just like the majority of the TV viewers, Hutch's ad. is on my top favorites list. Nice song too.."Raindrops are falling...."

I have mused too much about raindrops. Getting back to the original question of what life means to me, i m still pondering..... :-)

Untouchable

I happened to browse through the photo galleries of National Geographic. This picture captivated my attention - for obvious reasons.

A Picture says a thousand words

This was the cover story in the magazine on Untouchables in India.
Cover Story : Untouchable

I had read this entire strip in the magazine. Quite a detailed and elaborate coverage provided to one of the burning issues in india.

Purposes

After my earlier blog on Future, Blah, Blah .. i had taken some action towards achieving "it" (- "the Goal") instead of pushing it aside as just a "possible dream". Not at all a bad show for one lazy bum like me.

Well that has brought me to writing the statement of purpose essays :-) Here is where i am stuck now. If only i knew what is the purpose of my life (or should i have used "purpose in my life" ???) wouldn't I be writing / doing something better than mulling over my "probable" bright future . :-)

When it comes to expressing yourself in prose, you should be either a writer gifted with lucid thinking or a glib liar. Its a pity, I am neither. One of my friends put the same idea across to me, rather rudely. Well, he said instead of writing sob stories about how your life stinks in your blog, put in some effort to create an equally powerful SOP. On second thoughts, not a bad piece of advice but sadly it is difficult for a person like me. I have been sitting and brooding over this "Purpose" question for so long that i have become totally haphazard with my daily life.

Its true that our every action shadows a purpose but should it necessarily be a strong , logical one. How i wish, i could just say, i did some act 1 b'coz i had nothing else to do. Simple and true. But no one wants simplicity. Grandeur seems to be the rage.

Let me make a move from this purposeless chatter to the task of getting out a verbose SOP :-)

Should be ready with one sooner.

Darby and Joan

"Pop" into my inbox came this Word for the day from one of the word mailing groups - "Darby and Joan "

According to definition, it refers to a happily married old couple. The origin according to the mail had been from a poem titled
"The Joys of Love never forgot. A Song" written by Henry woodfall.

One verse in the poem reads “Old Darby, with Joan by his side, You’ve often regarded with wonder: He’s dropsical, she is sore-eyed, Yet they’re never happy asunder.”

Unlike movies like "Baghban" where the oldies romance is exaggerated to the point of irritation, this simple verse of the poem brings about the warmth of love in a much better and elegant fashion.

This reminded me of the movie "Notting Hill" .(One of my all time favorites) There is a scene where Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant jump into a park in the night and take a stroll. There they come across a bench with the following engraving:
"For June who loved this garden from Joseph who always sat beside her."
And Julia says "Some people do spend their whole lives together."

Another Darby and Joan there :-)

Btw for Notting Hill lovers like me, i found this nice website:
Memorable Quotes from Notting Hill

Hoping that i and sankha will become the Darby and Joan couple.

Forces of Nature

National Geographic is a great magazine. I have always had special preference to this magazine. I found this nice animation clip at the magazine's website.

Forces of Nature

Each clip describes about a specific force of nature. Truly brilliant and very informative.

WWW links

Some articles which came in the magazines about the work i am doing :

http://www.thehindubusinessline.com/2005/04/09/stories/2005040901051700.htm

http://www.outlookindia.com/full.asp?fodname=20050718&fname=Hinovation&sid=1

Hats off

Loyalty does earn its award ......
or should i put it as
Patience does pay
:-)

Whichever .... My company is putting me on its "loyal" bandwagon and giving me an award today.

If loyalty is to be rewarded then my parents should have been rewarded innumerable times to exemplify theirs. :-)

But let me not reduce my achievement for the day by making comparisons.
Sankha has also got his loyalty / patience award today.
Kudos to us !!!!
Accounting both of our work experience in years, we have contributed eight solid years to our company.

Now, aren't we the loyal and the patient couple. ;-)

College Bonds

I have always heard "wows" from people when i have mentioned my college name. It used to give me a momentary sense of pride to hear those appreciations. But i have never understood what that name, rather brand, can actually fetch me.
More than the temporary praises, it brings in tremendous amount of help, information and knowledge from the alumni. And i have realised this when i am in the quest for such information.

A BIG THANKS to my college alumni. Its more like the network is omniscient. They can help you with any meaningful task, open a whole wide field of information that you didn't know existed.

Thanks to my alma mater... it feels nice to be a BITSIAN and an ex- BITSIAN :-)

Future, I seek thee

Its high time i start deciding about my future. Most of the people close to me have been posing the dreaded question - "So, what are your future plans ?" in its original and variant forms.

I have just embarked on the process of "doing" something about this matter. (Atleast i need to have a definite answer the next time this question pops up :-) ).

I have climbed onto step 1 after writing a qualifying exam. Now, next step demands another exam. After that lies long, winding steps of the actual process itself.
In a similar fashion to "A small step , a giant leap for mankind", i have made my small jump. But there has been no giant leap, the rest of the steps have also got to be managed by self. Hopefully, i will retain the vigor and complete the needful in another 2/3 months.


All the best to me to go through this ordeal. Future, here i come......

A Clean Roof over the Head

Yes that is what i want now. I have grown so very tired of the rodent infested roof top at my current residence that i have decided to move away from that place. Rats, not the stars, seem to be holding and pulling the strings of my life. :-(

Blog Search

Sankha told me about this link..

http://www.technorati.com

Its fun to search for "blogs" of your choice.

Laws of Nature

We don't have to be a Mendle or a Newton to observe and infer from nature. We don't even have to make significant "discoveries" and contribute to the world's knowledge pool. We will do ourselves a big help by first helping ourself.

I had recieved the following story via email. Maybe it will enlighten a very simple law of nature to us ....

Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, but each apple has just ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds!

We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?"
Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Not all seeds grow. In life, most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen,
you had better try more than once."

This might mean : You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job. You'll interview forty people to find one good employee. You'll talk to fifty people to sell one
house, one car, one vacuum cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea. And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims. We learn how to deal with things that happen to us. Laws
of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.

Pure breed Vs Hybrid

Much to my joy, i have been making more trips to chennai lately. Had been to chennai for the past two days. Spent time with my parents and brother. Wanted to catch a tam. rajini movie running in the theatres (to get the same old feel of the tam. spirit :-) ) but then my brother has become very busy with his work. He has no time for such trivial things these days. I made myself happy by listening to the non-stop FM channels.

My husband was amazed to see me dressed as this typical tam. girl. I think the atmosphere sorts of gets into u. Rather into ur skin. With lot of coaxing from my mother and my aunt (mother's sister) i got dressed to their likes (to the great dislike of my husband.. he was giving me d looks !!!).. Why is it that people want everyone around them to be garbed in the way as them (or should it be themselves ?? effect of extra doses of english grammar)

Oh, sankha was feeling happy that he got nice deals on some mp3 and CDs in chennai. He influenced my father to such an extent that the very next day my father took me to the same shop to buy some CDs for his personal collection.

Anyway, all said and done, quite a nice trip. Now, let me get back to my work of writing on an issue.

Next issue topic, i think the second in line:

"Instead of requiring students to take courses in a variety of disciplines—that is, courses ranging from the arts and the humanities to the physical and biological sciences—colleges and universities should allow students to enroll only in those courses that will help prepare them for jobs in their chosen fields. Such concentration is necessary in today's increasingly work-oriented society."

Half baked knowledge is dangerous. True but equally dangerous is absolute ignorance. In my view point, students should be exposed to a variety of disciplines but to a certain level. In today's technologically progressing society, barring a few extremely different disciplines, there are no distinct demarcations between others. Most of the sciences tend to overlap or rather merge at boundaries. Limited understanding of such overlapping subjects will prepare students better for their future jobs in their chosen fields.

My university believes in the principle of imparting knowledge of every overlapping or common field to students. The educational curriculum of my university is excellent as it imparts both generalized and specialized knowledge for all the students. Every fresher has to undergo a certain prescribed set of courses in the first two years. During the second year term, they are gradually exposed to some of their chosen field subjects. At the end of the second year, the students are given a choice to decide about their specialization. Those students who find their pre-selected specialization interesting continue with teh same field and those find some other field more absorbing are given the option to move into that field. All subjects in the third and fourth years are entirely dedicated to their specialized fields. This way the students can exert their own volition to choose their future career and also they have a broad understanding of how other fields work or operate.

Extending this scenario in my personal case, let me explain as to how i found it beneficial. Armed with Pharmacy and Biotechnology degrees, i decided to work in the upcoming field of Bioinformatics. When i joined my present employer, a software consultancy company, i was easily able to understand the computer concepts and college level mathematical and statistical concepts, which were prerequisites for my job. Apart from understanding, it made communication with my engineering colleagues very easy and smooth. I found the knowledge that i had gained at college very helpful in my work life.

I have seen many a pure science graduate, who find working in an industry ver y difficult. Also, the opportunities available to them gets drastically reduced. An industry is an amalagation of various forms of knowledge and technologies. In a quest to make pure breeds of professionals, one should not miss out on utilising the versatility of the hybrids.

----------------------------------------------------

End of the issue topic.
------------------------------

Weekend atlast. How i wish i could sleep off the entire saturday and sunday. But no i cannot.

"I have promises to keep and miles to go before i sleep."

;-)
Promises to myself. Another 15 days and then, ah , i can see heaven !!!

New resolution

I have decided to take up an issue everyday and express my opinion about it. This is to hep me improve my writing, formulating ideas and commenting.

So, here i go ..............

"Creating an appealing image has become more important in contemporary society than is the reality or truth behind that image."

First impressions always matter. Oscar Wilde was of the opinion that only shallow people don' go by appearances. With appearances being given so much of importance, it should not come as a surprise that many people, corporations and societies resort to fabuluous displays. Whether all such displays are just ostentatious is a matter to be considered.

I would not state that the entire society has become ostensible. There are always cases where what is displayed is what is valued. Lot of big corporations lay stress on ethics and proper code of conduct. When ethics come into picture, ostentation doesn't stand a chance. When corporations deal with stakeholders or with other clients, they cannot take a huge risk of creating a false image. Once the false image is exposed, then the trust of the stakeholders, clients and society at large is lost. And that is a very heavy price to pay. The organisation i work for places a lot of importance on values, ethics and integrity. These are upheld as prime values of the company. Organisations which command reverence from the society would never stick to false proclamations or impressions.

Looking at a microscopic level, people with their values indeed make or mar a society. There has always been a feeling that celebrities lead a false life. Driven by the lust to potray their lives as successful, many end up creating appealing images to the public. Most of their personal lives is out in the electronic or print media, thus creating a misconstrued feeling that all celebrities without exceptions lead such glass-like lives. There are quite a few of the theatre personalities who have taken up and fought for certain genuine causes. Few of the popstars have decided to conduct musical performances to raise money for the tsunami victims.

Not all that glitters is gold but it doesn't necessarily mean that glittering gold is a fantasy.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Comments are welcome.

Paradox

"What are you after in life, Priya? Deep down, are your most intimate desires satisfied by the kind of work you have decided to do? The little problems you encounter in your professional life this week could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Take a look around you to see just how much the work you do, and how much the people in your personal life take into account your profoundly spiritual nature."

No one is preaching to me. These were my astrological predicions for the day. More than just satisying my naive curiosity, today's prediction has actually forced me to think.

There has been a lot of change happening at my workplace. Lot of people whom i had been working with for the past 3 years have left. Now we are just a group of three instead of the original 35. This just gives me a feeling of stagnation. A rather sedantry work life.

If no change is equivalent to being stable or steady then that is what my work life promises to be. In our lives, aren't we all trying to settle down or stabilize somewhere ? Then why does the current stability in my work hurt me so much ? Why do i crave for change ? Why should i ask for a bit of perturbance ?

Paradoxical desires !!!

Answer to the final question ??

I have a habit of jotting down quotes, questions, statements, ... rather any kind of utterance made by people, if i find them interesting and stimulating. Presently i have a substantial collection of such jottings. When i was going through my office papers, i chanced upon this specific statement:

"A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the 'why' for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any 'how'. "

Simple yet profound !!! Perhaps the answer to the ultimate question :-)

Insults

As the last week was dedicated to words used as insults in a famous mailing list on "words" , i added 6 new words to my very own "insults" dictionary :-)
Added to that one of the members of the mailing list provided this nice link which displays insults from Shakespeare's works.

Shakespearean Insults

Another member of the same mailing list reproached the entire idea. And as a mark of disapproval removed herself from the list. She had felt "insulted" being a part of such a mailing list.

And me, on the other hand, felt quite excited about improving my vocab. :-)

Breath of fresh air

Just like the momentary relief produced by the short summer rain spells, my recent trip has acted like a good emollient.

Prime reasons for my visit:
1) Need - (Satisfied. Met my parents and brother)
2) Greed - (Satisfied. Met my husband after three long weeks)
3) More greed - (Satisfied. One of my cousin sisters wedding. She being slightly physically challenged, her parents had been having quite an arduous task of finding a life partner for her. In addition to their misery, they had to bear with the torment of attending the marriages of girls quite younger to my cousin. Voila, the wait finally ended with her marrying this patient guy, who had been waiting for her for the past 6 years. Quite a bit of patience. Warm wishes to this couple. )

Not bad, greed also pays off sometimes. :-)

Feeling bored

I am feeling thoroughly bored and restless now. I have the freedom to walk out of office at any time i please as of now (both my PL and Supervisor are out of office). But some unknown force is holding me back on my seat. I tried reading all the old senti - type mails i had recieved. Even that has not helped. I just initiated the usual "cribbing chain " mail to my friend. Awaiting her response now.

Don't feel like going home also. I find it very boring to listen the sob stories being told by my mom in law and i cannot even tell her to stop those. My husband is currently posted in another city for official reasons. And the future looks worse as both my husband and my cribbing mom-in-law will leave for their respective destinations. And i, for one will be left grappling with all these new changes.

I will write (crib) later. Now, let me check my inbox for some reassuring word from my friend.

Anxiety soars

Another day has gone by and i haven't done anything about my future/career. Day started with a warning from the Astrocentre.com in the form of a mail to my inbox. It predicted a depressing day with me feeling all drained down. Voila, i did get to hear some bad news. And a pretty bad one too.
I don't know if what i am about to say would qualify for murphy's law , if it doesn't then i'll call it priya's law -
Bad news/events always come true. Good news/forecasts never materialize.

MATHS - the subject

Today i recieved a newsletter containing an abstract on Mathematics - the Universal Language. Since my schooling years, i have dreaded Mathematics. The main reason was the importance laid on scoring 100% in that subject. Even at my senior and higher secondary exams, i was not able to manage a 100%.
With such a track record, no wonder i am always scared of that subject. The opening lines of the article that i was referring to at the start, spoke with such reverence for the subject that i plunged to read more. Here are some of the passages from the article which made me think - maybe Maths is not that bad :-)

""" .................. No matter how you figure, mathematics is included--even the quantity and density of the air you breathe, your degree of sight, and the amount of your appetite, or capacity for liquids, the extent of or degree of your smell and taste.

Try to separate anything from mathematics and there will not be anything left, not even a degree of your intelligence or sense of humour. No wonder it is a divine law of being, not merely a man-made principle of measurement. It is truly the universal language; even the state or balance or discord is mathematics."""

Passing thoughts

After a long silence, today i decided to break it. I don' t know how regular i can be with my blogging but i want to give it a try. It's like writing a diary.
At the end of the day, when i try to recapitualte the events of the day, i have loads of ideas to write about.
I spent the entire day in office making modifications to the documentation files. What a way to spend an entire working day. :-)
Monotony has become rampant in my life these days.
Normally, I get thrilled listening to forecasts about my life (only good predictions go down well!!!). To get a break from the monotony, i decided to ask an astrologer. But after consulting one, i am still left waiting for the "good" time to arrive .

Priya decoccoons

Ah, here i am !!! atlast crawled out of the coccoon....

Now, let me get some fresh air .. then i'll get into action.